Romance Advice Part 3.
3) Romance Destroyer: COMPARISONS
This is actually similar to the romance advice given for no. 2) OTHER PEOPLES BELIEFS but the difference here is when friends/family are comparing your man to other people.
Now this might not always be a bad thing, and the comparisons might even be very positive.
What we are talking about here, is particularly negative comparisons that are designed to make you feel less special when you feel like the most special person in the world.
It’s actually a form of envy on their part.
The comparisons are designed to make what you hold special, seem quite trivial and even sub-average. There is no romance advice here.
It is quite simply “Bitchiness”.
Here’s a typical example of what I mean.
“He bought you a silver chain? Ooh that’s nice… Debbie’s guy got her a gold one with real diamonds in it; show it to us Debbie… Oooh stunning… see?”
Now this could affect you at 4 different levels:
- IMMEDIATE DESIRED EFFECT: Your gift your partner bought you suddenly seems less special.
- NEGATIVE THOUGHT INDUCTION: Debbie’s partner bought her a more expensive gift; therefore Debbie’s partner must love Debbie more than your partner loves you.
- MESSAGE: Your partner is a cheapskate and you are stupid to treat things he buys you as a show of love. Are you really that cheap to get so excited over something like that?
- LONG TERM EFFECT: Each time your partner does something nice for you, or goes out his way, you wont help wondering how cheap it is compared to what other people might be getting.
Now, quite often you will recognise these sorts of comments for what they are.
Unfortunately, being human, like most all of us, it’s difficult not to let these comments affect you at a deeper level.
If you allow them, they’ll have the desired impact that they were intended to.
Romance Advice Gem: Part of winning the battle to reduce their impact is to realise the game and recognise them for what they are.
Smile in the knowledge that you have your “mental trash can” at the ready and then throw the comments firmly where they belong. In your mental trash can.
THEN EMPTY IT.
Other comparisons might be against his job, the car he drives, the clothes/accessories he wears etc. etc.
Your relationship and you romance isn’t designed around what other people do for other people.
And it certainly shouldn’t be placed around material values.
Also bear this romance advice in mind:
IF you are comparing Debbie’s boyfriend’s gift to your own; Remember, Debbie’s boyfriend’s gift is quite cheap compared to what a movie star or a celebrity with millions might buy for his girlfriend!
ROMANCE ADVICE – ACTION:
Using just this one piece of romance advice will keep this romance destroyer at bay!
Don’t EVER let yourself compare your man to other people you met with help of Adultfrienedfinder app, or let other peoples comparisons affect you.
If you do, you’ll be comparing everyone you meet for the rest of your life.
There will ALWAYS be someone better looking, better dressed, better car, better house, better… you get the picture?